Too often, we don’t pursue the healthy changes, the leaps, that would bring sadness intertwined with happiness, or fear intertwined with excitement.
Too often, we try to talk kids (and adults) out of their legitimate sadness by reminding them of the good stuff. There’s a fine line between encouraging positivity and gratitude and squashing sadness that needs room to be.
In developmental psychology, the ability to hold mixed emotions is seen as a key milestone of maturation.
Can a person do courageous things without being at home with mixed emotions? I don’t think so.
Can a woman find equanimity in the midst of a complex, layered life if she isn’t at home with mixed emotions? I can’t see how.
Can she move and grow, can she be a part of the flow of change that is life, without comfort with mixed emotions? No.
So I pass on this idea from my sweet boy’s teachers today: that we really can feel a whole mix of things, and that we usually do, in times of change. And we can make change anyway.
How can you say yes to the changes that you know will pull you forward but that also bring some grief or sadness with them?
How can you discern between the sadness that says, “stop, don’t make this change” and the sadness that is simply to be felt and moved through?
How can you hold more space for yourself to have mixed emotions, in big and small ways, beginning today?
Tara Mohr – Playing Big